Here's a story I've really been needing to get off my chest.
One day 28 years and 15 months ago, I recieved a bootleg copy of some Pokémon game from my grand uncle, as a gift for my birthday. later I asked him where he had gotten it, but he always refused to answer me. I guess it was pokemon red, or blue. I remember sitting on my back porch to play it for the first time. I was so excited. Professor Oak told me about the amazing world of Pokémon. Everything seemed so… normal. I started the game, walked out of my house in Palett town and ran to go pick my Pokémon. Professor oak seemed more deadpan than before. His excitement was gone, and eyebags were under his eyes. I vividly remember him saying: “Go on and pick one already you ungrateful swine.” He listed them: Charmander, Squirtle and the last one… “The Green Man”. It was smaller and less detailed than the two other Pokémon and just comepletely… Green.
When The Green Man appeared on the screen… Hairs stood up on my back. This overwhelming sense of dread overtook my mind. I thought nothing of it, of course. It had been a windy day after all, and could've easily just been a chill. i chose The Green Man, simply curious what picking this seemingly out of place “pokemon” would lead me to.
When I left the building, I finally found my first fight. The trainer i was fighting looked scared. He used a Squirtle and I, The Green Man. The Squirtle he was using appeared to be literally paralyzed, and The battle music was slurred and wonky. When I entered the attack menu, the only thing listed was… Green.
I was starting to notice that something wasn't right here. I watched the Pokémon tv show almost every day, and even knew the lyrics to the entire Pokérap. Never in my life had I heard of a Pokémon called The Green Man. I took a breath, used my attack, and… the game crashed. Now I was just mad because I knew my cheap ass grand uncle had bought some rip off from a creepy old man in an alley or something. Booting it back up was the real horror. It screamed at me, full volume, the audio bitcrushed to hell… THE GREEN MAN COMETH. Written in place of every word on screen was “Green” Every Pokémon was replaced by The Green Man, and the music was just one simple loop. I’ll remember that song till the day I die. It was so… eerie and I dare say… disturbing. Palett town was barren. I managed to play long enough to find a wild Pokémon to fight, but there were no options. Just a single sentence in its place.
The text on screen simply read: “Look up, you ungrateful swine.”
My stomach sank, and fear took over. i looked straight up and saw a figure standing just on the other side of my backyard fence, staring into my soul. He wore a green cloak, and green hat. Green everything, really. His teeth were nasty, yellowed and his gums were diseased, but he bore the proudest grin I'd ever seen. however, his eyes were obscured by a pair of sunglasses, which were pretty unusual for a cloudy autumn day such as this. I stood up, shaking, droping my beloved Gameboy on the ground. Right then, I heard my mother yell to me to get inside for dinner. I felt so relieved… until I looked on the TV. the local news was broadcasting a report on a mysterious man who had been supposedly killed years prior, suddenly spotted in our neighborhood. They proceeded to dispel it as some kind of hoax, and even I wanted to believe them. It seemed convenient too, since going back outside i didn't see him again, and my copy of Pokemon had been seemingly stolen. But after years and years of mental anguish, sleepless nights and bad luck, I couldnt let them lie to me any longer.
As I sit here, writing this, I still feel as if The Green Man could be standing just outside my field of vision, stalking me, muttering about swine.
To better help you understand the context of this story, I’ve included a loose recreation of The Green Man and what i've come to dub as “The Green Man’s Theme”.
Song: The Green Man's Theme
bACK 2 THE main page: THE MAIN PAGHE!!!!!!!!!